What is ‘Feeling Your Feelings’?
What does it mean to actually feel your feelings? Simply put, it means to experience, sense, and observe the emotions present in your heart, gut, or body.
To feel your feelings means to experience the impact and physiological expression of your emotions. Feeling your feelings means to experience the drama playing out inside you. It means experiencing your feelings without rationalizing, distracting yourself, or interfering with the process. You feel your feelings as they are, without judgment. You tune into your emotions and pay attention. You turn your focus inward and concentrate.
Feeling your feelings is an act of self-love. It communicates to your heart tolerance and acceptance, and the value you place on it. It demonstrates that you are willing to walk your talk, and feel what your heart feels, that you’re willing to feel whatever it takes to understand what your heart experiences.
What ‘Feeling Your Feelings’ Is Not
- Wallowing is rolling around in your feelings with a “woe-is-me” self-pity attitude. Feeling is moving through your feelings; wallowing is stagnation.
- Rationalizing is the sour grapes of feeling (for example, saying to yourself, I didn’t want to play, anyway to cover the disappointment of not being picked to play on a team). Rationalizing can also be an intellectual understanding of your feelings: I feel this way because of “such and such.” Logically explaining away your feelings is not feeling. Rationalizing is explaining away your feelings.
- Vacating is spacing out, neglecting, or mentally running away from your feelings; feeling is staying put and taking ownership of how you feel.
- Downplaying is discounting your feelings; feeling is honoring your experience.
- Labeling is putting a name on your feelings; feeling is what goes into earning the label. In other words, feeling is the heartbreak, tears, and longing you experience, not just saying you feel sad.
- Carrying On
- Carrying on is endlessly talking about how you feel; feeling is experiencing how you feel.
- An interaction bothers you and you have feelings about it. Instead of feeling them, you rehash the scene in your mind over and over. You dwell on it. You ruminate. Your mind revs up because you are bothered. You repeatedly replay and analyze the scene in order to help you avoid your bothersome feelings.
What feelings are not are all the ways you avoid feeling. These acts take you out of your heart. To feel, you must be present with your heart, and nowhere else.
If you are interested in learning how to better feel your feelings so that you can move towards a self-reinforcing cycle of self-love, let’s talk. Book your free call now. Click on the link below. It will be the best hour you’ve spent on moving towards emotional healing.
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