This is the story of one of my clients, Charity, and how she came to discover her truth.
The day before I meet Charity, she had spent the day crying from late morning till evening. She was not in a good place. She was up to her ears in feelings of anxiety and depression. Charity was in her early twenties. She had struggled with addiction since she was a teen. Recently she’d had a great run of 15 month sober. Even though Charity wasn’t wanting to drink, the anxiety and depression were putting her on edge.
The next day I finally get a chance to talk with Charity. By this time she’s collected herself. While she still feels anxiety and depression, the nonstop crying has ended. We start talking about how this emotional upheaval started.
Charity left a fun job at a small business to go work as an executive assistant at a small consulting business. Charity saw this opportunity to learn from a very successful CEO and successful female entrepreneur.
After a few weeks on the job, Charity quickly learned that her boss was extremely demanding. Charity’s boss was so busy that she had very little time to properly train her. Charity was new to the consulting business and was learning day by day. She was doing her best. Despite her best efforts, when Charity made a mistake, her boss would unload on her. Her boss established a pattern of belittling her when she made mistakes.
Yesterday morning, Charity made an innocent mistake. When Charity sent an email to her boss about her next appointment, Charity did not account for the travel time. That set her boss off and she began belittling her and questioning her capabilities and ambition. Her boss’ harsh response to an innocent mistake was what triggered Charity’s anxiety and depression.
Charity and I zero-in on what she felt deep down. Charity was feeling shame that she tried her best and it still was not enough. That she was not enough. We avoided making this about how inappropriate her boss’s behavior was, and we avoid getting into Charity’s story (i.e. her childhood wounds), so we could focus on changing how she felt right then.
We worked through her shame. Charity discovered her truth, that she was acceptable. She hadn’t felt acceptable for her entire life. This experience had been so painful that she chose ineffective coping strategies to deal with the pain.
But now Charity knows the truth. She is acceptable as is, with no exceptions or clauses. She is acceptable, period. Knowing her truth in her body “I am Acceptable” makes the shame, anxiety and depression fade away. She found a new sense of inner calm. She is not on edge any more. Not being on edge makes it that much easier to stay sober for one more day.
If you would like to know more about how get to your truth and know in your body that you are acceptable. Let’s talk. Book your free call now. Click the link below to schedule your call. It will be the best hour you spend freeing yourself from shame.
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Shame is NOT a life sentence, so free yourself.