Takeaways From A Man Panel
In October, I was invited to participate in a Man Panel with four other men in Los Angeles, CA. The Panel, which was part of a three day life mastery retreat for successful women who want to learn how to create dignified, loving intimate relationships with high caliber men. Hosted by Marni Battista, one of the foremost dating and relationship experts.
The women in the audience were free to ask the panel whatever they wanted. The panel was asked to answer honestly as if they were talking to their sister.
One of the subjects that came up a few times was money. Several ladies in the audience had done very well financially (more power to you ladies). They had questions about when and how to bring up the subject of money. How to respond when the man they were dating makes comments about something they purchased. What to do if a man feels insecure about a woman making more money than him?
An overarching theme was some men feel threatened when the woman he’s dating makes more or has more money than him. The panel agreed that this was the man’s issue and he needed to come to terms with it.
After the panel concluded I thought more about the issue of a man feeling threatened when he’s not at the same financial level as a woman he’s dating. At a deeper level, doesn’t a man feeling insecure about his financial status compared to the woman he’s dating tie back to shame?
This led me to think, wouldn’t some questions about how a man deals with shame be just as important as the money questions? Is he aware when he feels shame? How does he deal with the feeling? Does he become aggressive, defensive or stonewall? Does he talk about it? Does the woman really want to know?
And fair is fair. Are both parties willing to have an honest conversation about shame? Perhaps once the deeper issues of shame get resolved, a difference in income won’t really be an issue. Because the shame isn’t necessarily about the numbers, but what those numbers are made to mean.
If you’re interested in learning more about how I am working with clients to resolve shame in a simple, powerful and experiential way. Let’s talk. Click on the link below to schedule your call. It will be the best hour you’ve spent on resolving shame.
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